Marriage Summed Up in Text Messages

Marriage Summed Up in Text Messages

When I see these text messages, I see a real marriage. They might be humorous, but they are also very true. You can visualize a couple actually saying these to each other minus the cell phone.

Asking Him To Pick Something Up

Wife: I need an onion.

Husband: Yellow or White?

Wife: What’s the difference?

Communicating While Together

Husband: Netflix isn’t working.

Wife: I know, I am sitting right here.

Husband: I know. But I have a hard time verbally communicating, remember?

Texts About The Kids

Wife: I should be home soon. Please feed the kids and have them get ready for bed.

Husband: Sorry. Just saw this.

Wife: Seriously??? I am pulling into the driveway!!

Husband: Okay. I’m on it. Oh, hey there…

When The Mood Strikes

Husband: Thank you for all you do for us. We all love you so much. I’m so proud to have an amazing and beautiful wife. Can’t wait to get home. Love you.

Wife: I’m on my period.

Dinner Please

Wife: What do you want for dinner? Meatloaf or Lasagna?

Husband: Lasagna.

Wife: Me too. Please pick some up at The Olive Garden on your way home.

Texts To Keep Her From Getting Mad

Husband: I hope you have a great day baby! I love you!

Wife: You are tracking my cycle again, aren’t you?

Husband: I got an alert this morning.

When He Has A Question

Husband: Can I put the apple soap that is in the bathroom in the dishwasher?

Wife: Do. Not. Do. That.

Wife: You did it already, didn’t you?

When She Needs To Remind Him Of Stuff

Wife: Did you take those papers I told you to the office?

Husband: What papers?

Wife:THE PAPERS! I TOLD YOU TO TAKE THEM TEN TIMES LAST NIGHT!

Husband: Why are you yelling?

Wife: BECAUSE YOU DON’T LISTEN TO ME! EVER! I’ll have do it!

Husband: Calm down, I’ll do it. Now, what papers exactly?

When He Should Be Home But Isn’t

Wife: The men are here to close the pool. I thought you would be home for this. What do I tell them?

Husband: Tell them to close the pool.

When He Is Late

Wife: Are you on your way or should I find someone else to take me?

Husband: Just left.

Wife: Okay. I’ll be outside with my bags.

When She Wants Some Peace

Husband: You are so obsessed with that TV show. But is that a reason to ignore me?

Wife: Ask not what your wife can do for you but what you can do for your wife which is to keep your trap shut so I can enjoy some peace and quiet and finish watching this!

When He Is Alone With The Baby

Husband: When are you coming home? I think the baby pooped.

Wife: Did he or didn’t he?

Husband: It smells and I know it’s not me this time.

When She Is Out And He Wants Her To Pick Something Up

Husband: Honey, are you still at the grocery store?

Wife: Yes.

Husband: Can you pick up beer?

When Vistors Are Coming And He Forgot To Tell You

Wife: You never told me that your parents were coming over today and planning to stay the weekend!!!

Husband: Oh, right. Honey, my parents are coming for the weekend. They should be coming around 4.

Wife: Thanks. I’ve been in my PJ’s all day! Now they think this is all I do!

Remembering Anniversaries and Birthdays

Husband: I just wanted to wish you a happy anniversary baby! I love you!

WIfe: Aw, how sweet but our anniversary is NEXT month.

Husband: Happy Birthday honey, I love you!

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