15 Things to Say to Offend Single Women

15 Things to Say to Offend Single Women

Many people treat single women as some sort of entertainment tool. Whether they pity them or envy them, they feel it is their right to pass judgement on them like they are animals in a zoo. We must stop the madness. Avoid saying any of these things to any single woman ever.

“You’ll find it when you least expect it! Or when you don’t even want one!”

Gee, never heard that one before. Why would I want to find a relationship when I don’t want one? That sounds terrible. It sounds the same as catching a cold the day when you have to give a presentation at work.

“You must have some wild, fun, crazy stories!”

Why yes, I do. But fun fact, “fun” is not just reserved for single people.

“Assumes that you spend your time watching Netflix alone and wishing you had a boyfriend due to the enormous amount of articles that say this is so”

Again, watching Netflix alone is not reserved for single people, nor is it all single people do. Why is this the default setting for any woman not attached to a man?

“But you want one right?”

Don’t know. Maybe. Maybe not. Not really any of your damn business is it?

“I have this friend…”

  1. A) Don’t assume just because she is single that she wants a date. B) Don’t just set up your random single friends based solely on the fact that they are single.

“You are so great! How are you single?”

UGH.

“When was your last relationship?”

Why does that even matter?

“Have you ever been in a relationship?”

Have you ever heard of having tact?

“I miss being single!”

Good for you. You know you can be single pretty much any time you want, right?

“We think that you should…”

Congratulations, you no longer have a singular opinion, AND you think your opinion about a single woman’s life is more valid because you have another person to back it up. Don’t ever “we” anyone. It’s unfair and ridiculous.

“You’re so lucky to be single! Know what I have to deal with? (Insert relationship problem here)”

Um, if she wanted to listen to petty relationship drama, she would A) Ask or B) Be in a petty relationship filled with drama.

“Well you know what they say, those who can’t do, teach!”

Just don’t.

“Don’t worry! He’s out there!”

Did I look worried??

“Wait, so what do you do then?”

Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Since being in a relationship is the only important thing in life, single women just sit and stare at walls until a boyfriend pops out. Why would they waste time with friends, jobs, goals and hobbies?

“Is this your boyfriend?”

A single woman standing anywhere near a single man is always in danger of this awkward question. For the perfect example, watch the scene in Bridesmaids when Annie attends the engagement party. It’s perfect.

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